Is The Mom Bun Ruining Your Self-Care

Is The Mom Bun Ruining Your Self-Care

The “Mom Bun” Meme Got Me Thinking

Memes can be hilarious when they capture the way you and thousands of others feel about a certain situation.  The mom memes poking fun at our “hot mess style,” have especially registered on my radar. 

The notorious “mom bun” memes have especially hit home, since my hair’s been in one of these bird’s nests, since our first-born, almost six years ago. 

Though these mom appearance jokes seem harmless, I have to wonder if the “mom bun” stereotype is helping us slack on our self-care.

Is it true that we just can’t be bothered with our appearance?  Let’s look at how the mom bun may be ruining our self-care attempts.

It Started Innocently Enough

With the glorious lengths my hair reached, I began piling my hair on top of my head, to keep it from the grasps of tiny baby fingers. 

With back to back pregnancies, the bun became my go-to solution for not having the time or patience to scrunch fresh curls. I still barely had time to shower in a manner consistent with reasonable hygienic standards.

I found all these mommy memes on the internet.  These cute and funny memes made me feel comfortable and even proud to rock my “mom bun.”  But why? 

There was a camaraderie factor.  I felt part of this alliance of women who were taking on the most challenging, bad-ass role of their lives.  In such an important role, who has time for vanity? 

This “mom bun” was our calling card; a “Scarlett Letter” of sorts, silently informing others, that we’re taking on is too deep to give a damn about our looks.

 

Is the "mom bun"ruining your self-care?

Is the “mom bun” ruining your self-care?

The meme also gave me comfort at a time when I was desperately uncomfortable in my own body.  That this lack of enthusiasm for how I presented myself to the world was rampant among other moms (because at the time, I felt miserable about my body, and greatly appreciated the company).

I felt justified in my many forms of self-neglect.  If I could have a free pass on neglecting my hair, surely I could get a free pass on being in a new body, which at that moment, I didn’t care for. 

The bun became my security blanket (like the one a  parent gives their kid, that has the power to make them “invisible” to others).  Boy did being invisible sound good at that time.

Bringing Sexy Back

Jumping about ten years before my babies were born, I met this amazingly vibrant, gorgeously put together pregnant client at my salon.  She proclaimed her determination not to allow her baby to change her self-care. 

Compared to the sentiment that your world stops so that you can be hyper-focused on this baby, I found her take on motherhood, style, and beauty encouraging.  She became the model of my ideal pregnancy appearance. 

Some buns look messy and stylish. Jennifer Lopez pulls off the perfect casual bun, and the Kardashians do sleek buns to perfection. Unfortunately, my mom buns tend to look like a cross between “just escaped the asylum,” and Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda.

After years of feeling and often wishing I were invisible, I’ve finally begun to see the fruits of my working out paying off.  I’ve ditched the stale energy of clothes I used to test my body’s shrinking abilities. 

You know, the monthly “let’s try on these jeans from 10 years ago, and see if they say I’m worth a damn” self-torture routine.  (That’s in this post by the way).  It took a massive mental shift to accept that I was doing myself an injustice by resigning to the “mom bun” memes.  Why shouldn’t we present the best versions of ourselves, at EVERY stage of our lives?

Are the "hot mess mom" stereotypes, making some of us feel comfortable giving up on our appearance?

Are the “hot mess mom” stereotypes, making some of us feel comfortable giving up on our appearance?

How I’m Rocking It Now

I’m still not exactly where I want to be, but I’m getting my shit together one mom meme at a time (leggings every day are next on the list).  I feel fabulous with my long luscious curls, (even when they’re a couple of days old). 

I’m slowly replacing The old clothes that ridiculed my body and transformation with clothes that LOVE and applaud my change.  Adding these new clothes slowly allows me to mentally shift in a way that says, “forget that it’s not your old size six. 

I’ve fallen in love with the perfect eyebrow pencil and translucent powder, which have become my essentials for every day. 

Yes, I put on a little makeup every day now!  It may seem trivial, but when you’re pulling yourself up from emotional exhaustion, and loneliness (which being a stay at home mom can bring), it’s huge progress.  I realized the negative way I carried myself was hurting my ability to attract more abundance, as well.  In this post, I give you three simple physical changes that help you attract abundance quickly. 

Needless to say, I’d hit a major wall in my manifesting abilities when I was too busy trying to be invisible.  Being seen (and being comfortable with it), is a beautiful thing worth celebrating.

No matter if you’re rocking the mom bun, or hitting the salon for a fresh blowout, You are beautiful mamma, and deserve to be seen!  Let me know how you feel about the “mom bun,” and any other fashion faux pas, attached to us moms.

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