Manifesting What You Want
I have the honor of crossing my most significant physical manifestation off of my vision board. Not only did I manifest the most substantial tangible goal on my vision board, but I broke through my husband’s fixed mindset. Lord knows manifesting around our mental blocks is difficult, but there are situations where you can’t reach a goal alone. In that case, you may need to manifest around someone else’s fixed mindset, (business partner, employees, coworkers significant other, child, parent), to succeed. You know you can manifest beyond your blocks, but you can also manifest around someone else’s fixed mindset, without the unnecessary friction. In this post, I share how I manifested our first home (despite my husband’s staunch resistance), and the steps to manifest what you want when having to work with others.
I never adjusted to moving from the Long Island suburbs to my hubbies cramped apartment in Queens, NY. The small, dark apartment was to be a two-year max pit-stop while working and saving. Fast forward to two children, two cats, one pitbull, and eight years of resentment.
Having his entire life set up perfectly there (with work only fifteen minutes away), he refused to become a Long Islander. After back to back babies, the walls were closing in on us. He remained stubbornly planted in his fixed mindset. Taking on such a significant financial burden seemed wasteful to him, although the apartment was old, poorly maintained, and the area was beginning to see an uptick in violent crime. After all, he and his three siblings all managed growing up there.
The city lifestyle didn’t agree with me. With tight parking restrictions, hauling babies and groceries for blocks, a third floor walk-up, and thirty extra pounds on my knees and back, I became a hermit. I allowed my feelings of confinement, to become a physical and mental prison.
I was self-aware enough to understand that I was pushing my husband to the edge, yet wanting him to commit to a total lifestyle change. I didn’t care. Was I a bit selfish? Yep, and I don’t apologize for my self-awareness. I saw how our children loved visits to our family upstate, and in Long Island, but hated returning home. It was frustrating to tell them they couldn’t play in our shared courtyard because neighbors didn’t pick up after their dogs. Then came the rats, and rat traps placed around the property. That was when I said “enough”!
Considering the roles of mindset, gratitude, and the law of attraction in manifesting abundance, I was in no condition to manifest my way out of a paper bag. I felt so bitter about living there. Manifesting a new home in the suburbs was going to take a shift on both of our parts. Having manifested emotional, spiritual, and mental peace from two toxic relationships successfully, this felt like a new curve-ball from the Universe to help me level up. After many heated fights, (leading to growing resentments), I changed my mindset, and approach to the homeownership conversation.
Finding creative entrepreneurial outlets, and focusing on deliberate gratitude for the abundance I did have, allowed me to move from my fixed mindset, into a growth mindset. Those positive mental shifts would soon snowball, despite still living in our little dungeon. That positive energy and proactive approach to fulfilling myself made it possible to refocus on gently manifesting around my husband’s fixed mindset on homeownership.
How to Manifest What You Want When Others Are Blocking You
Once I manifested beyond the low vibrations of my fixed mindset, it was time to manifest beyond his. I had to be tricky in getting him to raise his vibrations and align with my goal. In short, I had to get him manifesting without realizing he was doing it!
I got him looking at homes on Zillow. Looking at and discussing features we both want, activities we could picture our kids and pets enjoying was the complete opposite of my one sides rants. This approach allowed him to relax, and engage in a pleasant, two-way conversation, rather than becoming defensive, automatically shutting down.
Walking your partner through your vision with detailed descriptions or visuals is a powerful initial step in aligning your vibes. Speaking about it out loud during casual, open dialogue is the cherry on top. The Universe sees and hears the vibrations you put out (even when you’re not intentionally trying). Let the conversation flow. Make sure the other party/parties feel listened to and respected. Just get the conversation going!
He confronted his biggest fear, the financial aspect of homeownership. We began focusing on the calculated estimates Zillow offers. We faced taxes, down payment, monthly payments, utilities, etc. Once he was malleable enough to dip into the financial research, he saw that our monthly bills in the apartment were close to a mortgage, and bills. Now that he saw that we could afford it, he began to acknowledge the significant flaws in where we were living finally. Fear no longer blinded him.
For phase two, you need to understand the roots of the other person’s fears and hesitation so that you can help them confront it. Fear is almost always what stops someone from taking action. It may be fear that you’ll drop the ball, fear that they aren’t ready, fear that a particular action is too bold. It’s your job to walk them through their concerns, so they can look at what you’re proposing with clear eyes and an open mind. Confronting their fear with facts as well as emotional appeals is pivotal in progressing forward.
This final step was the most fun and influential of all. I proposed attending open houses. Since I already had him talking the talk, next was getting him to walk the walk, literally placing us inside of the potential home we would buy. He was now onto the physical aspect of aligning his vibrations to manifest our home. This is where I saw and felt the greatest shifts in his and his mindset toward homeownership. Something powerful happens when you physically inject yourself into your desired result (to whatever degree possible). It kicks the Law of Attraction into overdrive, in your favor.
On some level, you’re behaving like you already have whatever it is you wish to manifest. The Universe hears this type of action, loud and clear. After a few open houses, he was ready to take the plunge, getting a realtor, and looking at homes with absolute intention. We found our home within four months of working with a realtor, and what a difference!
For your third phase, bring your partner as close to physically being within whatever you wish to manifest. If it’s a new office space, take lunch to go and scope out potential workspaces. Are you acquiring a significant new client or strategic alliance? Get your partner to listen in on a Skype call with that person. If you want to include a new line of cookies, invite your partner to enjoy them, while helping you make another batch. Get the idea?!
Manifesting the life you want can be frustrating. Add another person’s mindset into the mix, and it can feel impossible. Your self-awareness about your goals and approach will be an asset to your success. To see how self-awareness helps you to attract abundance easily, read this article. In my example, you see that with a gentle approach, you can manifest what you want when working with others. Gently getting the person to see it, think it, talk it, and then walk it, is a lesson in patience with tremendous rewards. You’ll get your vibrations to align, get the Law of Attraction working in your favor, and will both enjoy as much abundance as you can imagine.
Leave a comment if someone else’s fixed mindset is slowing your ability to reach a specific goal.