Welcome to personal growth lifestyle, real talk real results. I’m your
host, Lisa Latimer, results strategist & self-awareness coach helping you become your most valuable asset in life and business.
We can be pretty obsessed with how the most successful people got to
where they are now. Of course, if someone is in a place that you admire and would like to be
yourself, they are the absolute best go-to for that. So it totally makes sense, but it could feel a
little bit like we get a lot of the wake up at 4:00 AM and crush it type of advice. The have a green
smoothie, as soon as you wake up and meditate for the first half-hour that you wake up type of
advice, right? But you also get all of these conflicting tips from one guru to the next, which can
make you feel like you have to be doing all of the things in order for you to succeed at your
So today, I’m going to tell you the only four must-haves that you need to
get to your goals. Everything else outside of these four things can be worked around, and hang
out until the end, because you’re going to get one to three thought-provoking questions that, you
know, make great journaling prompts, and they really help you scratch beneath the surface of
your self-awareness. So let’s jump right in.
After speaking with a prospective client several days ago, I asked what should be really a simple question for anyone that’s running a
business, especially he’s been running your business for a little while. And every time I asked
this question, I kid you not, the hairs on the back of my neck stand because I know the answer
that I’m going to get. And I got the answer that I seem to always get. I get all of the Googleable
tips and webinars and freebie stuff that they inhaled regurgitated in my face, which tells me that
they are doing all the things.
Now, if you’re familiar with my Instagram and Facebook group gems,
okay, you’ve heard me say once or twice at least that when you stick a priority label on
everything, this is a priority. That’s a priority is a priority. You’re a priority. Nothing is actually a
priority. It becomes absolutely meaningless. So this is going to lead us right into that first must-have in order to reach your goals, which is clarity. Clarity is unsexy and underrated. And I used
to refer to clarity as the shortcut to success that everyone wants, but that they don’t want to do
the back work on. And I did get one thing wrong on that. It’s actually not a shortcut. You have to
allow yourself time and space for trial and error. It’s like so many times I’ll talk to new
entrepreneurs and they get their backs into this corner of the advice, niche down.
It’s like niche down or die, right? Because of course, you want your
message to be more potent. You want it to really resonate deeply with the right people, but
saying that to a brand new entrepreneur, especially if they’re not coming from a working
environment where they’ve had a chance to work with people and they already have a good feel
for their strengths, their weaknesses, and, and who they want to work with and who they could
best serve. Right? The idea of having to have this clarity and niche down right away is really
scary and it trips so many up. So you have to allow yourself that time and space for trial and
error. Now, action is what brings clarity and I’m not talking about blind haphazard action. I’m
talking about calculated conscious action. So moons ago at Nassau community college, I was
petrified of making decisions, deciding what to do with the rest of my life felt like I was being held
I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but that is how my, you know, 19, 20
year-old self processed that. And I don’t do good with my back against the wall in certain
situations. So what did I do? Well, I worked two to three nights a week at strip clubs. And just
like the scene in the movie coyote ugly where Violet’s cute boyfriend with the accent tries to get
her to quit bartending and tells her that the place is a —- sandbox for her to stick her head in. That’s exactly what I was doing with the strip clubs at that time. Now I talked myself into the idea that my passion, it would become clear to me if I just gave myself time. Okay. But the action piece, the trial and error piece was missing and there is a
huge fucking difference. Okay. And I want to clarify it right now.
There is a tremendous difference between the trial and error that I was
doing versus the trial and error that builds your network, builds your confidence, and builds your
self-awareness. Okay. Me, knowing that I could get cash thrown at me for being attractive and a
natural 36D at the time was shit. There was absolutely zero negative, zero value in that. So
you need clarity and clarity comes with intentional mindful action. The second must-have to
reach your goals is nonnegotiable. Why now I get into, in one of the chapters of my book, the
wise, one of the things that separate the people who seem to crush everything, they do, every
project that they take on. One of the things that separate them from those of us, kind of waiting
in the waters of mediocrity is that deep connection to a deep why?
So your why? It could sound ridiculous to others. It could get, you laughed right out of
your family gathering. It could get, you laughed right out of your high school reunion. Okay. That
doesn’t matter. What matters is that for you, that why takes deep roots into your heart and soul?
Now I had a client who took over his family business. This was a while ago. And you think, oh,
how nice it must be to just have to show up and walk right into this done for your business. That’s
handed down to you by mommy and daddy. Well, yes and no. His only why was that? It was
expected by his parents. It rated at a negative one for him yet. He was determined to stay within
that family tradition, just as those who came before him did, he was not passionate about
anything in the restaurant business. And that, that it had to offer for him.
Now with a lot of digging in our sessions, he stumbled onto a WHY outside
of his family and outside of the restaurant business, that became a WHY that rated at a plus 10,
right? It was off the charts for him. He found the way to have the restaurant become in the
schools within the local community and did a business mentorship for kids after school, like an
afterschool program to inspire entrepreneurship in them, to keep them out of trouble, making a
difference in kids’ lives and building relationships with them was where it was at for him. That
shit lit him up from the inside out. So having that, why that makes you feel like this is even bigger
than just me. There is not an option to fail here that keeps you on your path no matter what size
hurricanes attempt to blow you off of your path.
So you need the clarity, you need a non-negotiable why, and then you
need to strengthen your mindset, preferably a growth mindset. So creating a growth mindset is
the third thing that you need to have that you must have in order to achieve your goals. There’s
a reason why I don’t just take any client that I find, or that finds their way to me and many
coaches qualify clients. And in fact, many entrepreneurs have ditched that attitude and that saying
the client is always right type of thinking. And what they’re accepting more and more now is the
idea of attracting their ideal clients and repairing that client that refuses to do the work that
expects overnight miracles, that bitches and whines and moans about paying the value of what
you are offering them to get to. So we qualify our potential clients because working with
someone who’s in a fixed low vibrational mindset is exhausting.
It is not worth the fucking money. It is not worth the energy and the effort
when you’re in a fixed mindset, every little obstacle threatens your success. You know, people
who are in fixed mindsets, you know, the people that are at your job, that every time something
doesn’t go their way, it’s that someone’s trying to sabotage them. It’s that management or higher-ups don’t know what the hell they’re doing. It’s that their coworkers or their team members all
have their heads up their asses. And it has nothing to do with them. And there’s never anything
that they can do to change those circumstances and be icing on the cake. Okay. The icing on
the cake is that they —- ‘ll tell you these things and they ooze low vibrational raggedy-ass whining onto you. They
dump it on to you. They look for the nearest person that will allow them to dump it onto them
because misery loves company.
They want you to co-sign with them so that they can in their confirmation
bias, remain in that fixed mindset. Now, when you’re in a fixed mindset, every little obstacle, like
I said it threatens your success. We’ll trip, we’ll stumble. We’ll fall. We’ll cut ourselves up. And
what will we do? We’ll go right to our toolkit, bandage ourselves up and get back to it. Not
someone who is in a fixed mindset. Every little thing is a landmine. You become essentially the
main Sabba tour of your success. Oftentimes before you even really hit the ground running and
give yourself a chance and, and get those little wins that feed your positive self-talk and inspire
you to keep going and allow you to see how amazing it feels to break through a barrier. Even if
you break through to the other side, a little bit bumped and bruised for it, no matter how
someone shines a bright light to show someone who’s in a fixed mindset, something, something
Speaker 1 00:13:16 They’ll refuse to see it. No matter how hard someone tries to pull
someone in a fixed mindset in the right direction, they will refuse to budge. The best way to
describe a growth mindset is kind of like the red bull commercials. It gives you wings, right? It
gives you wings. You fly over those obstacles rather than crumble or waste, valuable time and
energy sulking, and adding kindling to your negative. Self-talk your inner bad-ass screams
challenge accepted and gets to creative problem-solving mode. That’s what a growth mindset
does. It sees the challenge as an opportunity. Whereas the fixed mindset sees the challenge as
confirmation that they can’t do it as confirmation that God is against them. The universe is
against them. Corporate is against them. The world is against them. Anything that is going to
feed their insatiable need for confirmation bias, because they’ve got just such a fixed outlook on
Mindset moves mountains. My friend, remember that. So you’ve got
your clarity piece, your non-negotiable Y and now you’ve got your mindset piece. Now the final
must-have, and I bet you that if you have been hanging out with me long enough, either on this
podcast or on my social media, I bet you can guess what I’m going to tell you. The final must-have is in order to achieve your goals, it’s self-awareness. You remember that list of advice that I
mentioned earlier, like the whole wake up at 5:00 AM and crush it, whatever it is.
No, thanks. The only thing you’ll ever see me crushing at 5:00 AM is my
pillow. And should I get up to pee at 5:00 AM? I’m going right back to bed. That’s it for me
waking up to start my day before daylight, especially when it’s fall and winter. It is, it feels
completely unnatural for me. Okay? And I’ve tried every time hack out there and you want to
know something, what works for this here homeschool mom, just shy of 43, who has her six
and seven-year-olds homeschooling. Full-time not distance learning, but full-on renegade
homeschooling. I’m present in my Facebook groups and creating content, hosting this podcast.
And I take the time to build genuine connections with those in my social media community.
Having no schedule is actually what keeps us, myself, kiddos and husband happy. I wake up
between eight 30 and 9:00 AM no alarm because starting the day with something unnatural
shaking, my nervous system up is a big, no, no power juices for breakfast.
In fact, my first meal is about 1130 to 1:00 PM. And I tell you this to say
that self-awareness, it helps you take that trial and error and know what works for you to
understand what aligns with you so that you’re not forcing yourself self into or out of bed at
times, that just feel like absolute insanity. Honestly, the days that I’ve forced myself to get up and
get my day started at four 30 or five o’clock in the morning I have by the middle of the day, felt
like I got smacked upside the head with a two by four. That is not how I want to feel. If anything,
in the middle of my day, when the kids are warmed up, I’m warmed up. My husband’s warmed
up right after I might’ve had a couple of, of one-on-one phone calls and been a little bit active in
my group, right?
Those are the times where I really come alive and my blood really
starts to flow. The only absolutes in my day in terms of schedule are any clients that I have
scheduled for the one-on-ones any podcast guests that I’m going to have on that I’m
interviewing. And any other podcasts that I may be, um, a guest on where they’re interviewing
me. And then of course, the homeschooling day, which I go by my kid’s energy, my kid’s attitude,
you know, what if they want to get up and in the morning, they’re just bundles of energy. And
they’re all about being outside. Do you think I’m going to bitch and complain and put my kids in a
headlock to sit inside and do schoolwork when they want to be outside and running around how
no I’m not doing it. And as a result, they respond amazingly when it is time to get work done.
And I’ll tell you something else. I would rather take an extra two years to
get to my goals. Yes, you heard me, right. I would rather take an extra two years to achieve
whatever my goals are, but in that span of time, do it my way, do it in alignment with myself, do it
in a way that doesn’t leave me. So frazzled, you know, drained so that by the time I get to that
end achievement, I’m not so exhausted. I don’t become resentful of it because I actually enjoyed
the process. I forget who says this, it might be, it might’ve been Gary Vaynerchuk, but I heard
him say this once. And I was like, damn, that is so on point. And he said something to the effect
of the journey that you take to your goal. It happens once because once you get to that goal,
that part of your journey is done.
So are you going to love that journey? Are you going to allow that
journey to have really been this amazing life-changing growth experience for not just yourself,
right? But especially if you’re doing this and you have other people watching you, whether it’s
your kids, nieces, nephews, other people in your family, siblings, whoever are you going to sit
there and make this journey? The fucking incredible thing that it can be, or are you going to
make it, this thing that dogs you and that ages you so that by the time you get to it, you don’t
even remember why the fuck you did it. So in the first place, you don’t even remember what you
did it for. You have a choice. There are so many ways in these times that you can get to your
goals. You can absolutely do it your own way. So back to the whole self-awareness piece, now
that I went off on a tangent, right?
So the self-awareness piece, that’s what helps you get that clarity on
those one to three things that are actual priorities for you so that you’re not forcing yourself to do
all of the things rather than just the things that aligned with and make a significant difference for
you. It allows you to know, okay, I tried this and maybe this worked for, um, you know, Gary Vey or
maybe this worked for how some other, you know, big guru that a million people listened to, but
it’s not for me. And that’s oh, okay. The fact that I can’t replicate what these people did to reach
their goals doesn’t mean that I’m destined to fail at mine. So that is a piece of what
self-awareness does for you. Self-awareness also is going to help you find that. Non-negotiable
why that makes you feel like the fate of the universe depends on your success.
You’ve got to get it done. There’s no turning back from that. That type of
non-negotiable why is how people will put it all on the line, even with a family to support that why
has taken that type of hold on their heart and soul, that they will put it all on the line for it.
Self-awareness is the cohesion that really binds all of it together. It brings all of those other
pieces together. So now I want to get into this, and I’m only going to have one today because it’s
a pretty detailed one. So this is the thought-provoking question. That’s going to help you dig
deeper into your awareness. So I want you to make two separate logs, one for life, and one for
business. If that’s something that you’re working toward now, divide that into the tips or activities
that do move the needle for you. And that you are also aligned with versus the ones that do not move the
needle for you. And that are completely out of alignment with you, the ones where you feel like
you’re having to throw yourself into a brick wall to get done.
You know, —- my main purpose for this episode, I had a conversation with a really brilliant young woman
whose podcast I was on. And we were both talking about how, you know, we, she thought that,
and as she put it, she thought she was the only freak that doesn’t operate on a schedule that
doesn’t have a set schedule that doesn’t have any rituals, no schedule, but just allows her day to
flow. However it unfolds. She said, I wish I had someone like you all these years ago when I was
going through a depression and doctors were telling me, well, you know, if you’re depressed,
something that really helps with depression is routine, but a routine didn’t feel natural for me and
I could never get into a routine.
So I considered myself a failure. So that self-awareness piece allows
you to take advice, even from the people who are, you know, assumed to know better and
understand, and allow yourself to be that beautiful, unique individual that you are. And to be able
to say and say to anyone, looking them dead in the eye, thanks. But this isn’t for me and not feel
a fear of judgment, not feel like you’re going to get looked at like, oh, you know, what’s wrong
with her or him? Self-awareness gives you that confidence. That just allows you to absolutely
show up as that boss in your life and in your business. So, my friend, you can totally create your
own lane, but since there are so many ways to win, you need to be deliberate in your tracking,
those tips that you’re putting into action, you need to be deliberate. So that is what I’m going to
leave you with in terms of the journaling with a healthy dose of clarity, a non-negotiable why a
growth mindset and a deeper level of self-awareness, you will blow right through your goals your
way. So that’s what I’m leaving you with today. Be sure to get into my Facebook group. She So
Boss Mindset Incubator to learn how to show up like a BOSS in your life and business. And
remember I’m Lisa Latimer and I’m helping you make personal growth part of your lifestyle.
OUTRO: Are you ready to become your greatest asset in life and in business?
Book a free chat with me now, at least the latter of our.com. And you can also jump into my
Facebook group. So blessed mindset incubator. Remember I’m Lisa Latimer and I’m helping you make personal growth part of your lifestyle.