Is Manifesting Abundance Hurting You?

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She's So Boss Mindset
Is Manifesting Abundance Hurting You?
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Manifesting Abundance is hugely popular amongst the spiritual gangstas of the world, but is it hurting you? With all the talk of love and light, it sounds blissfully catchy, especially in a world that so desperately needs it. And that’s exactly what it does. It catches you with your big dreams, perhaps at a time when you’re feeling a bit vulnerable. Maybe you’ve had a rough go with relationships, career, entrepreneurial goals, or living in what you feel is a dead-end town. Perhaps you’re at a point where you realize you have a bit of self-healing to do and are ready to be proactive about your personal growth. Now, to be clear, my goal with today’s episode isn’t to convince you that you should abandon manifesting Abundance. Just as with my coaching, my first and foremost goal is to facilitate the increase of your self-awareness and then help you strategize how best to use it to accomplish your goals.

So today, we’re doing some heavy-duty unloading, and you may feel a bit triggered by it, but hopefully, you listen to the full episode and allow yourself to absorb and think critically about our chat. Here’s what we’re gonna get into, not necessarily in this order.

  • Why I personally stopped practicing manifesting Abundance the way many gurus present it.
  • Why the way many gurus use (Manifesting Abundance), is misleading & potentially harmful.
  • What Manifesting Abundance is and isn’t.
  • How the idea of manifesting Abundance can make you less emotionally intelligent and feel less empathy towards others. Not something we need more of in the world. Again will it? Maybe maybe not, but it’s important that I put it out there because I know many people who, stepped back from this practice and the online echo-chambers they were in, found that they could clearly identify that it harmed them. So this may be the confirmation or permission you need to question how you’re feeling, which is really difficult to do within any echo-chamber of people attributing their success, money, relationship, and everything else to manifesting.
  • What you really need to do to materialize your needs, wants, and desires while actually evolving in your emotional intelligence and empathic capabilities. And trust me, when I say building relationships is at the core of your humanity as well as a dying skill that’s a must if you have any sort of big aspirations.

Now, I’m a reformed praiser and practitioner of Manifesting 

Abundance, but I had an epiphany. First, I went through my biggest depression and internal struggle when I was ingesting and practicing manifesting Abundance. In fact, because I couldn’t raise my vibes and happiness levels, I felt even shittier about myself. I’d had our 2 healthy, beautiful babies back to back in a 2 by 4 clusterfucked neighborhood with nothing and nobody I enjoyed around us. My sister in laws lived across the courtyard but worked a lot and had their hands full taking care of my mother-in-law. My husband was exhausted and working mandatory overtime. I was so lonely. So tired. So resentful. Yes, my children were on that list of things I resented and myself and my hard-working husband.

 This made the practice of gratitude pushed at times to a toxic point within the manifesting culture damn near impossible. Now I never went to be officially tested for postpartum depression, but my thoughts and emotions were all over the place from one hour to the next. My only saving grace was the gym which was even more important to my mental and emotional health besides my physical health. I really wondered why I couldn’t just find 1 thing to attach enough gratitude to, to raise my vibes and get this whole positive snowball rolling forward & building momentum. 

I even deluded myself into thinking we finally bought our first home because I manifested beyond my husband’s resistance to leaving the only neighborhood he’d ever lived in as a city boy to pay gauging taxes in my native Long Island. That wasn’t him working his ass off and saving because I sure as hell didn’t come into our relationship with a bank account any better than that of an 18 year old. It wasn’t both our sacrifice in living 5 years longer than we agreed in that old apartment so that we could be secure whenever the move did happen. And it had absolutely nothing at all to do with me ranting daily about how much I hated living there and how our children would suffer running around a dog crap and rat trap-filled courtyard as they grow up. NOPE. I manifested it for us!! So that’s the first part of my epiphany that made me rethink manifesting abumdance.

Second, When I looked at my life way back to when I was in my early 20’s very lost, working in strip clubs, allowing narcissist abuse relationships to define me, not on the greatest terms with my family, I managed to change my life completely. First thing I did was complete beauty school and work in a salon which was right around the 2008 economic debacle. I found myself back in the clubs as a cocktail waitress and hairdresser saving up for the Ultrasound program I began and ultimately became a registered diagnostic adult cardiac sonographer. From there, I made a much better group of friends, one of which introduced me to my husband. Guess what… 

At that point, I’d never even heard of the concept of manifesting Abundance. That complete turnaround in my life (one of my proudest accomplishments for which nothing else that I have today could exist without) was done without one inkling of manifesting Abundance. When I look back on those experiences, and I know this will turn some of you off but it’s my truth, God pulled me away from people, places, and situations that literally destroyed others right in front of my eyes. And when I was resistant and fighting what was best for me, God removed people and attachments faster than you can snatch a rattle out of a baby’s hands. So that’s why I stopped devoting my energy to the practice of manifesting Abundance and quit writing about it in a way that encourages it. 

Now that you see why I walked away from the practice, let’s get into how many of the guru’s present manifesting Abundance is misleading and what Manifesting Abundance is and isn’t.

 

 

What is Manifesting Abundance?

Much of what’s written either makes Manifesting Abundance sound like your fairy Godmother in your pocket on the one hand or like you have to be a third-degree Jedi yogi to get your vibes up high enough to move whatever mountain stands before you and your goals. So, it’s either oversimplified or when you’re not getting the results, it’s because it’s not as easy as it seems. 

And there you are…You’ve been envisioning so hard that you split your pants. You’re creating such positive vibes that rainbows are shooting out of your ass, and you’re wondering, “where are my orgasms on tap, my billionaire significant other, my 7 bedroom mansion, and my fulfillment?” If this sounds like you, you’re gonna wanna stay tuned. If you’ve gotten some results but feel emotionally and mentally drained, you’re also gonna wanna hang out for a bit. Don’t forget I give you 1-3 thought-provoking questions that scratch beneath the surface of your self-awareness at the end of my solo episodes and make for excellent journal prompts.

It’s not uncommon for a concept (such as manifesting Abundance), to take on a life of its own when so many people begin using a term without fully understanding it. It gets distorted as it gets passed along (just like the telephone game). You also form your own unique definition of words and concepts (based on your unique experiences).

Based on what I’ve read about manifesting Abundance, my initial thoughts were, “well, I don’t have a magic wand.” I can’t picture myself sitting on a pillow, legs crossed, humming and chanting.

 I sure as hell don’t believe that just because I can imagine something, it’s going to fall into my lap. (I’d have the pleasure of calling myself the ex of Tom Hardy and Henry Cavill and I only say ex because I adore my husband and our family just as we are. But I surely would’ve had the pleasure of calling them exes by now. And honestly, aren’t you pretty damn good at envisioning already? Think about how often you drift off into a daydream. You’d have all of that shit right now if visualizing and imagining were something you had to practice. You’re a natural already.

My understanding of Manifesting Abundance seemed ridiculous, but I couldn’t turn around without someone mentioning the topic, so I did my own research. My first instinct led me to the most obvious place, the dictionary.

When you Google the word “manifest,” the verb means to display or show. It’s synonymous with the words present, exhibit, and demonstrate. Can you recall hearing doctors say, “the patient is manifesting signs of… (chickenpox, for example). 

Just that quick dictionary definition makes you feel less like you have to be a graduate of Hogwarts just to wrap your head around the concept.

 

thought I knew what the word Abundance meant within this concept. Google’s definition of Abundance is a vast quantity of something. So when I see one of the hundreds of Master Classes for Manifesting Abundance, I immediately realize a huge problem. It’s like saying, “let me teach you how to manifest a whole lot of…uhhh… something”. It’s just like the saying “be careful what you wish for”. Right. So, often people get what they wished for only to realize not only is it not for them, it’s destructive to them. 

They’ll get hundreds to enroll in a class that essentially tells them how to bring a big fat question mark to fruition! So that’s one big problem with the way Abundance is used within this concept. It’s way too general. It doesn’t care how self-aware you are. It doesn’t care if you’ve done the inner child healing, the unlearning and reparenting, the dismantling of your limiting belief and false truth systems. They meet you where you’re at and set you up for that very be careful what you wish for type scenario. There’s no shortage of books on how to manifest Abundance. We’re not as short on the “how-to” as we are on the “what.” Unfortunately, many of us have no idea what we want to be empowered to do or what our idea of fulfillment looks or feels like. So, how can manifesting Abundance without knowing what you want hurt you? Indulge me in the following scenario. 

Do you want a raise? Are you sure? Raise granted!

You’ve put out the vibes and live as you already manifested a degree of financial wealth. You strategically invest your money and time in wealth-creating education.

 You engage in a community of like-minded individuals, also into wealth-creating strategies and practices. Your raise makes you feel like the Universe has thrown you a reward for leveling up. Living as you have it (an important component in LOA) seems to be working! 

Quick question. Do you love your job? Will a two dollar an hour raise help you love your job?

Does jumping at an extra two dollars an hour to remain in a job where you call out as often as you can get away with, where your soul leaves you body the moment you walk into the place or log in remotely feel right? Is that really what you wanted? Did you just create a trap disguised as a financial incentive to remain in your uncomfortable comfort zone rather than feel pushed to go for better? It started out feeling pretty good and harmless enough, right? Again, the back work of building self-awareness is completely ignored.

It’s like wearing a blindfold, spinning around in dizzying circles, and wildly whacking away at the air (trying to smash open a pinata). 

You can’t expect to create what you want in your life if you’re wasting time, energy, and other valuable resources swinging away at the wrong things. 

With so many choices influencing us just via social media, 

There’s a big difference between what makes your ego drool vs. what makes your heart sing. Not being on a higher level of Self-Awareness, you risk attracting what appeals to your ego rather than what resonates deeply within you.

So, this is one way many people end up wasting loads of time, energy, and resources, manifesting the wrong things or nothing at all. 

I’ll go a step further. I hear the term Manifesting Abundance used so frequently by course creators selling the dream of luxury material possessions. Hell, It made me feel like manifesting anything short of Kardashian type luxury wasn’t aggressive enough. I felt like the Universe would laugh in my face and say, “AMATEUR, that’s all you want? You’re not worthy”!

There’s nothing wrong with wanting material possessions. (I’m a stickler for the fact that it’s in the eye (actually the heart), of the beholder. You should feel empowered to create what speaks to your heart.

Under the search for Abundance, “Abundant Life” also appears, offering more clarification on the concept of Abundance. In the Bible (John 10:10), Jesus said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. 

I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly“. It states that Jesus was referring to an abundance of joy, purpose, and meaning in life.

Material abundance is on my list, but and one of the major lessons COVID has taught us is that your mental health, purpose, peace, and empowerment in living your truth are musts before the material itches can even begin to get scratched. So that’s the second way that it’s often presented misleadingly. It’s not always about material possessions and some of the gurus who have their curated Instagram accounts are selling you material envy when it’s actually the feels that give us the strongest connection and deepest roots to our goals, our whys.

This leads to the next consideration when it comes to manifesting Abundance. There’s a place within manifesting Abundance where I see too many people getting stuck to the point where they believe it’s the Universe testing them to see how badly they want it. Or they feel like they’re failing and unworthy. And it stems from the lack of clarification around the doing aspect. 

Once you step out of the talk of energy and vibrations (which for the record is very real, it’s how you get a gut feeling or pick up on someone’s vibes, once you get beyond that and the meditations, envisioning, and the law of attraction, manifesting Abundance looks a lot like getting off your tuffet, getting out into the world leaving your comfort zone behind, and getting shit done. It looks like rolling up your sleeves and doing work that you may not like for a period of time in order to get that side hustle to be your full-blown business. It looks like carrying yourself in such a way that demands respect and then walking the hell away from those who think it’s their job to bring you down a few pegs rather than respect your boundaries.

A suggestion I can offer you right now if you do choose to continue the route of practicing manifesting Abundance is to consider redefining the concept to “taking deliberate actions to make the specific material and intangible goals present, and plentiful in my life.” 

 

How Can Manifesting Abundance Make You Less Emotionally Intelligent and Less Empathetic

In many of the manifesting abundance circles, the necessity for positive vibes blurs the line between optimism, realism, and straight-up delusion. It can go far beyond the toxic positivity culture. When we detach ourselves from the reality of our actual situations (not what we wish they were, not what they can become someday, but the situations we’re currently in) and our natural emotions that go along with them, not only do we become less self-aware, but we also diminish our emotional intelligence and empathy for others.

Think about this. How would you feel if a friend offered you a shoulder to cry on and after listening to you at your most vulnerable spilling your guts about a situation where the only thing you have control over is perhaps your mindset that you’ll persevere eventually. After listening to your emotional struggle, they said something like, “well, the Universe is testing you”. “Keep a positive attitude and you’ll get through it”. Or “complaining is just gonna lower your vibrations. You need to envision yourself on the other side of this”.

Does that sound like the response of an emotionally intelligent human? Like someone who’s in touch with their emotions and humanity, nevermind yours?

Now, this becomes a threat to humanity when we look at other people’s complex situations where there are actually constraints beyond their control stopping them, and we boil it down to this oversimplification of manifest your way out of it.

 I’m the first person to help others detach from a victimhood mentality (which surviving narcissist abuse for over a decade I held onto as well for a time). But being trauma-informed, is to acknowledge that while we want to help others get through bad times, those times do leave a residue behind deep on our psyche that takes work to cut through. 

Not only that, but it’s necessary to acknowledge some common sense principles such as depending on your condition, you’ll be better able to quote-unquote manifest what you want better than others. Yes, there are many factors beyond your Universal vibrations that go into manifesting.

 Do you believe that a young woman living in a trailer park, raised by an abusive single parent addicted to narcotics who dropped out of school because she had a kid of her own at 16 and is now with the father of that child who himself is a carbon copy of the parent who raised her is gonna simply manifest what a teen who grew up in Orange County California with 2 parents in the tech industry, a house on the beach, college education and nice bit of trust fund to burn through? 

There are many starting to speak about the idea that new age spirituality concepts like manifesting Abundance actually have become another way in which those in lower socio-economic conditions are being marginalized. They just need to be more positive, don’t they? I’m willing to bet there’s a difference in the level of positivity between a kid with parents too poor or drugged up to afford clothes that fit and steady meals vs. a kid whose paents give them the credit card to do back to school shopping and warns them not to go too nuts. Not very Kumbayah. 

So, do you believe women should’ve manifested the ability to vote sooner? Do you believe that people of color should’ve manifested the ability to have access to the same home loans as their white counterparts so that they could’ve had the same opportunity to build generational wealth? Should Martin Luther King Jr. have just manifested the fruits of the civil rights of black Americans rather than have a dream, risk life and limb and fight for it? Should we let the stage, 4 Cancer patient, in on the secret that all they have to do is envision themselves running and living vibrantly rather than trapped in a hospital bed vomiting from Chemo treatments? It kind of sounds like something an insensitive asshole would say dontcha think? 

And while this sounds harsh, this is what it often comes across like when you’re so deep up the manifesting abundance crowds ass that you can’t even hear your own arrogant insensitivity. And I don’t say this to be mean to you. I don’t say this to shame you. I was you. I was you for years before I dug into my self-awareness journey, reflecting and journaling, and asking hard questions of myself and others became habitual.

Now, if you can see how this comes across to others, I’ll tell you, it’s even more damaging to yourself. It’s one thing to gaslight others unintentionally and with the best of intentions. I believe you genuinely think you’re leading them in the right direction. When you gaslight yourself, that’s another level of gaslighting. You know how you feel, but you deny yourself the healthy act of acknowledging, feeling and working through it. You deny yourself the reality of a legitimate situation. Again not that I encourage anyone to cling to a victimhood mentality, but you’ve gotta keep it real with yourself. 

You’ll break your own trust. You disconnect from your divine gif of intuition. You create a jungle of limiting beliefs and negative self-talk because you straight up refuse to acknowledge the actual confines you may be forced to work within for a given amount of time, confines that manifesting is supposed to just magically erase for you, yet they’re still there. Do you really just think you suck at manifesting or that the Universe is conspiring against you? What kind of clusterfucked internal narrative is that creating for you? Now, the manifesting echo-chambers will tell you to try harder. They’ll say that you have.t convinced your subconscious into truly believing that you’re worthy of whatever it is that you want. There’s a degree of truth to that, however, where’s that work that has to come first? 

Because it’s that work that makes the manifesting seem like it’s the actual workhorse doing the heavy lifting. It’s actually the self-awareness, the inner child healing, the reparenting or unlearning and reteaching yourself and more that gets the job done. It’s time you spend in school, interning, or working for someone in your industry that leads to the know-how to start your business. It;s the working whatever job you can to pay your bills and for the humble beginnings of your side hustle to begin to grow, It’s the knowledge of self and building of self respect, creating and enforcing boundaries that attracts a quality partner. Yet we’re so quick to give the credit to the concept of manifesting Abundance.

Ya know something, when you undress manifesting Abundance, you peel back that Etherial robe it sure looks like it’s wearing dirt covered overalls that have been through the mud and grit of doing the work, often unplesant work of unlearning, awakening, relearning, remaining vigilant about being conscious, digging our roots deeply in self-awareness. 

Let m know if you see that. Let me know what your experience with manifesting Abundance has been, or if you too have broken up with the concept. 

Now, let’s get into a few thought-provoking questions to give you deeper insight to your self-awareness. First, look at the things you’ve accomplished, big and small. Now, retrace your steps. What was your process? What actions did you take? Which of those actions trace back to manifesting Abundance and which ones look more like rolling up your sleeves and putting in the work? How do you feel about your manifesting journey? Do you feel tired? Excited? Disappointed? Jealous? Lastly, where do you feel stuck in your journey? Is it in moving beyond your comfort zone? Is it in coming to grips with the idea that you have to do more than you thought and you’re not sure where to start? 

That’s what I’m leaving you with today! If you need help working through this email me at info@lisalatimer.com. Don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram @personalgrowth_lifestyle If you liked or hated this episode leave a comment, rate, and share it. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. I’m Lisa Latimer helping you make personal growth part of your lifestyle.

 

 

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