Today, I’m going to give you four effective alternatives to New Year’s resolutions that are going to help you get what you want. But without that icky New Year’s resolution vibe, and make sure you stick around until the end because I’m going to give you 1-3 thought-provoking questions that will increase your self-awareness. And if you’re into journaling, they make for awesome journaling prompts. So let’s jump right in. So Around this time, last year, I had an epiphany. I’ve been wanting six-pack abs since I was eighteen. And I think it’s pretty safe to assume that six-pack abs or just absorbed a slim tiny little waist is on every will say females list or New Year’s resolution at least once in her life, right? I love working out that’s not even an issue. But at 42 I have to tell you, I still don’t have those abs. And it finally dawned on me that I don’t want ABS as much as I want to partake in a mostly balanced approach to eating with those occasional holiday splurges. And in between splurges for special occasions, and not having to have this overly, you know, weighing food, counting calories, just having a relaxed approach to my eating.
What it boils down to, is that a six-pack is not something that’s heavy enough for me. And most of the time when you’re not achieving a resolution, especially when you’re on like attempt number four, and five and six have the same resolution, it’s pretty safe to say that that resolution just may not be heavy enough for you. And here’s the reason why. If you’re not tied to it, it could be because your ego is so I know for a fact, I’m not tied to the idea of having six-pack abs, my ego, however, wants those abs really, really, really bad. And let’s be honest, your ego tends to pull you toward the things that are more for show. And that’s not for you. It’s for others, right. So it’s really, really easy to kind of just be like, Oh, look, there’s a donut. Let’s go have a treat.
So along with the three alternatives, before we get into those alternatives to New Year’s resolutions, I’m sorry, it’s actually going to be four alternatives. Before we get into those. I want to first have you make sure that the things that you want. Speak to your heart, soul, and spirit rather than your ego. And here’s why. Anything that is built by your ego, any aspiration that is driven by your ego falls flat, it falls flat every time. Now, the next logical question I’m assuming is, hey, Lisa, well, how do I know if what I want? Is ego-driven or not? So at the end of today’s podcast, instead of giving you 123 thought-provoking questions, I’m actually going to take you through an exercise that I take my students that take my self aware goal setting course through, it’s actually the very first thing that I have them do in that goal setting course because there is no point. None at all.
In going through the goal-setting course and deciding if the goal that you’re choosing is something that you’re choosing for the wrong reason or aka, ego-driven. So let’s get into that first alternative to New Year’s resolutions. What I’ve done this year is I’ve decided I’ve actually done a little bit of all of these. But the first one that I did was pick a word to focus on. self-respect is a good one, forgiveness, self-compassion.
When you pick a word, make sure that it’s something that really encompasses whatever it is that you really need. So as crazy as 2020 has been, and it’s kind of been like this windstorm that we all got caught up in and there’s been so much conflicting information and crazy things going on that we feel like we’re getting tossed and blown all over the place, right. So if you’re someone who’s always stressing about things that you have no control over, causing anxiety and stress, a word you may want to focus on is acceptance or faith. If you feel like you’ve been more of a doormat, rather than the bigger person, in different situations with friends, family, significant others, your word may be self-respect or boundaries.
My personal choice word for 2021 is faith. Because I’m going to be honest with you, it really was faith, my faith in God, and my faith in my connection to him that got me through 2020. I keep on reading that 2020 has been a year where more people whether it’s faith in terms of religious faith or spirituality, this has been the year that has driven us back to Faith. In fact, there are bookstores that are saying that they cannot keep Bibles on the shelf. So faith is my word for 2021. A second alternative to New Year’s resolutions is to choose a feeling that you want to create. There are certain vibes that you could just want to wrap yourself in as much as possible.
Self-care is a popular one. And once again after that windstorm, that was 2020 that we all just blew out of self-care is still at the top of many New Year’s lists. Whatever feeling that it is that you want to create, remember to stop and frequently ask yourself, if the decisions you’re making, will keep that vibe going, or is it gonna kill that vibe and throw you completely off of that vibe?
For myself, I’m focusing on two feelings in addition to my word faith. So the two feelings that I’m focusing on are alignment and value. So before I even make the smallest decision, I use alignment and value as the criteria and that’s what you’re going to want to do, you’re going to want to use the vibe or the feeling that you choose as criteria. So am I in alignment with what’s important to me? is making this decision gonna keep me in alignment? Or is it going to throw me out of alignment? How about value? Am I going to participate in this situation or not? It depends. Can I bring value to the situation? And or can I get value from the situation? So that’s my criteria that I’m using the vibes that I want to ride straight through 2021 into forever. What are your vibes or feelings that you want to create in this new year?
Third, you can do a moto instead of a new year’s resolution. Now moto is defined as a short sentence or phrase that kind of encapsulates the benefits or ideals and it could be ideals guiding and an individual family or an institution. Don’t make it complicated. It should be something that you can really instantly recall. No matter where you are, no matter how stressed out you are. It should be something that pops into your head and gives you that shot of inspiration, like a jolt of caffeine into your veins. There are so many models to choose from, there are a few of my lesser-known favorite mottos that I found. One of them is “He who has a why can endure any how”. The second is “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”, that one is actually more widely known. And the last one is “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step”.
You can, of course, come up with your own motto as well. My business motto and I love this for brands because we’re always talking about brand identity. So my business or brand motto is that when we grow in individual self-awareness, we strengthen our collective awareness. So that’s kind of my business motto and my deeper, bigger why with my business, it helps me feel anchored to that goal, and really, even more, committed to the idea of spreading and teaching the importance of self-awareness.
Now the last alternative that we have to a new year’s resolution is having a new year mantra, which originates in Hinduism and Buddhism. And it’s a word or a sound repeated, to help concentration in meditation. So like I said, meditation and religious faith are so big right now, everyone wants to feel connected to that higher power. So the purpose is kind of similar to having a motto. Now the two parts of mantra are man, (meaning mind), and truck (meaning transportation or vehicle). So studies show that chanting a mantra can reduce your stress levels. And some Yogi’s even say that it does have the power to change your brain chemistry, the chanting the vibrations that your tongue on the top of your mouth creates, they say that that has unbelievable energy, and really can literally rewire
You can choose a passage from the Bible, or any spiritual guide, or make up your own. And for the meta meditative benefit, find a quiet place and repeat the mantra, whichever mantra or mantras that you choose. I know I’m pronouncing it two different ways. So now that you have four different avenues that you can go down, as opposed to doing the same old, New Year’s resolution, which again, you know, on social media, I reached out and I got the vibe, but I was not the only one this year that was completely over the idea of doing a resolution. And, you know, let’s be honest, post-2020, I think it really called for something other than a new year’s resolution. So that’s why I wanted to make sure that I brought you these alternatives for today’s episode.
One thing that I want to also say to you before we jump into that exercise to this way, you can know whether or not your goals are ego-driven, or heart and spirit-driven, is this and this seems to be a pretty popular post on my Instagram page. It’s the fact that we hear people say, a “new year and new you”. And I don’t like bursting bubbles but I have to call bullshit on that. It’s not “new year, new you”. The New Year doesn’t change your life magically. your mindset changes the new year. The New Year doesn’t create a new you. You create a new year and you do that through mindset. You do that through self-awareness. You do that through creating habits. You do that by making sure that you are connected to the goals that you have. And that you’re not just out there, throwing a bunch of goals at the wall and seeing what sticks.
So right now, I want you to if you have something to write with, take out a little piece of paper and a pen or pencil, whatever you have handy. And let’s go through this exercise and it’s going to really show you right in front of your face, it’s going to put it whether your goals are ego-driven, or heart and soul-driven. So the sheet that I usually give my students, has space for them to write their top goals on it. So I want you just for the sake of this exercise, (you can go back to it later and add another goal), just choose one goal. Think of the biggest goal that you have this year, it could be one that you had been working on since last year and didn’t quite finish it up yet. You can recycle that goal or just continue it into this new year. Or you can have a goal that, you know, you just completely thought of that you want to go for this new year.
So write that goal down. And underneath that goal, you’re going to write several different categories: there’s going to be yourself, family, friends, coworkers, and for this generation, I guess we’ll even throw in social media. And if you have a significant other, you can either list them separately, or you can lump them in with either friends or family that’s up to you. Now on a scale of one through 10, the closer you get to 10, being a goal that really, really is so super meaningful. And a one being like, if I could give less of a flying F about it. you’re going to assign each of those categories for your goal, a one through 10. So lets, for example, say that your goal is to make partner at your law firm. So you go to the category of family, maybe that ticks off at 10 for them, right? That would be huge for them. Maybe for your co-workers, that would be like a 10 for them. They’d be so super jealous or have so much admiration for the fact that you made partner at the law firm, they’d wish they were in your shoes. Maybe for your significant other, it would be huge shoe because then they get to say that their partner is a partner at the law firm and has moved up and you’re making more money and you guys are you know, may be able to do more things. Now when you get to you, and this is where it’s so super important, to be honest with yourself. Peel all the layers back and just between you know, your two ears, just be brutally honest with yourself.
If that goal rates at a 10 for everyone else, as far as the impact of that goal being achieved, and or the importance of that goal being achieved. But for you, it ticks at a five or anything under a five, you want to rethink that goal. Your goals should not be so much more important to other people than they are to you. So for me back to that example earlier that I made about my six-pack abs. those abs Oh my God. I mean, my husband doesn’t really care if I had abs but I would love to impress him with ABS. So yeah, I’d say that that would take off at about a 10 for my husband, for social media to be able to have that type of social media flex of showing six-pack abs on social.
Yeah, that’d be friggin awesome! My family probably couldn’t care less if I had abs (my sisters would be jealous though). So maybe that it would tick off at about an eight or nine for them. But for me, if I’m being completely honest with myself, having six-pack abs or a tiny waist, that’s I don’t know, like what’s a small waist size like 26 inches or a smaller? It just really isn’t that important for me. If I had to put a number on that it would hit at about a three or four.
So, that is the importance of first being self-aware about where you stand with your dedication to your goals. And with where you stand in terms of who are these goals driven for who created this goal? Was it an ego-driven goal? Is it your ego taking you by the hand and saying Come on, let’s go get this. Let’s go do this. Or is it your heart and your soul, and something that just makes you feel amazing? Now, I know tons of girls that have blogs, and my sister is an influencer. And you know, a lot of people are just like Oh, so you know. But here she is making a great living off of her blog. That blog doesn’t impress her friends. It doesn’t impress our family, our family’s happy for her, but it’s not like a 10. For them, they just want to see us happy honestly. But that blog is something that she’s been doing for years and makes her super happy and that she makes a good income from. So that blog is a 10. For her that blog allows her to be home with her kids and her family and enjoy her free time. So even though having a blog may not be that impressive or that big of flex to a lot of people. What counts is that it hits at a 10 for her.
So be real about your goals because it is hard enough to achieve goals that you actually want for the right reasons. super hard, damn near impossible to achieve goals that don’t really resonate that deeply with you. So that is what I’m leaving you with for today. Next week’s interview is going to be with Melissa Balgobin who is gonna bring you some amazing time hacks. She’s a time management strategist, you’re not gonna want to miss that that’s going to come again at the perfect time where you have your fresh momentum for your resolutions or your word or your feelings or any of these other things that we went over today that you might want to pick. And so you’re gonna learn how to manage your time a lot better with her tips, I implement her tips and I get a lot of shit done, I have to say. So it was great speaking with you today I will catch you next week on personal growth lifestyle,
Real talk real results.